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Foto: Maarten Zeehandelaar

What does it all mean? What. does. it. all. mean. Okay, let’s narrow that down. More specific: what does my writing mean? I get bogged down in my own negative thoughts when I think about that too much. As my zen teacher would have me believe it’s our thoughts that make us suffer. I agree with that, but I think it’s bigger than that. I could stop thinking about my writing, for example, and focus on any given task at hand. Soon I’d be absorbed by my work and my dilemma would be forgotten. But I don’t. Instead, I choose not to make the effort. I wallow in my thoughts, question the importance of writing in general, my own writing in particular, and compare those to the importance other writers are accorded by the masses. Why don’t the masses know me? Where are my masses, and how do I get them? What do I have to do, improve, alter, lie about or plagiarize to make it mean something? I’m caught in a soft velveteen box of doubt that keeps me absorbed and cushioned in in my own thoughts. I can leave anytime I want to, but why don’t I want to leave? Until I answer that question, I doubt you’ll be hearing from me.


Texto por: Wibo Kosters

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Copyright © 2010-2014 Maarten Zeehandelaar.

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